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Dear Cassie,
I’ve recently friended someone on facebook from my elementary school days. We enjoyed some back-and-forth conversation, catching up on the past ten years, and comparing notes…Then, she offered me her cell phone number, inviting me to call her.
I did, figuring, at the time, that we were getting along so well, and that perhaps there was even the possibility of “something there.” However, in this phone call, I discovered that she has a seven-month old son, regular fights with her ex (the boy’s father), and, as a result, is having trouble completing her associate’s degree at the local community college.
Furthermore, she spent the entire phone call complaining about her day and how people are so stupid, etc. Fortunately, a male voice in the background called to her to massage his feet. She said, “That’s my dad, I’ve gotta go.”
To her credit, she’s attractive and harbors many of the same interests as me, but I don’t think I have room in my life for any of the aforementioned baggage.
She’s begun calling and texting me daily. I’ve reached the point where I’m not picking up the phone and making up lame excuses as to why. First of all, am I being an asshole? I feel like I am, but, at the same time, talking to this person is a draining effort. Is there a way to politely excuse myself from this person without overtly alluding to the above-stated reasons?
- Notcho Step-Daddy
Sigh. Dear Notcho,
I was really hoping I could use the phrase “Don’t pee in your own pool,” today. However, that doesn’t apply here. What does apply is “Don’t let anyone else pee on you.”
You’re not being an asshole. She’s being an asshole, because she’s an energy-vampire. Draining you to talk to her? I’m not sure if your “red-flag” button is broken, but that should have been the first one.
The second red flag is that she’s talking about her ex in an unfriendly manner. More than that she’s talking to said “ex” in an unfriendly manner. A little clue: He’s probably not her former, he’s her current. “Fights” between exes are for those who haven’t moved on and properly dealt with falling out of love with one another. Your girl and her ex are still in Love-Land, bitter and nasty as it may be.
Ahem.
I would never touch my dad’s feet. I would not consider this “fortunate.”
Will someone blow the whistle on this girl already? Game over. Too many fouls.
Try not to scratch this rash, Notcho. You’ll make it worse. Since you said “perhaps there was even the possibility of something there,” I’m thinking you haven’t made any formal “we’re dating” agreements with her. Good. Don’t. There’s no reason to excuse yourself from a party you didn’t show up for. Just don’t go there.
Now, if she doesn’t take the hint that your texts are becoming less frequent (you’re not showing up for the party), try asking her for dating advice. That’s the number one BEST way to get rid of dating lice.
Everyone thinks I have lice,
Cassie
